Yesterday, after I returned home from my Hampshire trip, I naturally unloaded the car and was delighted to discover the black tray-style purse which I had mislaid for at least a month now was now found. This was a classic case of how things get lost/mislaid as it is made of a shiny black leather and had slid completely and fitted snugly in between the (black) upholstery of the car and the (black) fabric of the front seat. Aware of the fact that ‘black on black’ is a fatal combination, particularly in the case of cars, I always tend to buy new phones that are a vivid and non-black colour to ensure that this not reoccur as I have been fooled before. Upon retrieving the purse, I decorated it with a few coloured ‘dot’ style stickers to make sure it does not go wandering again. It did not contain any house keys but did contain one or two small keys which I could deploy to lock a rather fine leather briefcase which I keep in the study to house things like recent medical records and hospital appointments. After I had made myself a cup of tea, I thought I would rummage through the contents of another briefcase which I knew contained some medical and other files pertaining to Meg to see if I could remind myself of the exact day upon which had retired and when she had first to leave work because of her back problems. I did discover something that I really did not wish to know. In the briefcase was a medical file which detailed some blood pressure readings sone of which were taken at least eight years ago and one set that dated back eleven years. Apart from one or two solitary prescriptions, this seems to have gone largely untreated because at the time Meg was suffering from other apparently urgent problems such as her recurrent back pains and quite frequent and crippling migraines. I did then go on the web and discovered some research papers that indicated that untreated hypertension in late middle age (Meg would have been in her late 60’s) could be the precursor to dementia but, if caught and treated in time, could delay the onset or the severity of symptoms in anything from 30%–50% of cases. This troubled me greatly and I had to think through all of the implications of what I had just discovered. I did go next door to inform the neighbours that I had returned from Hampshire and they, very kindly, regaled me with a glass of sherry and made some very helpful suggestions as to where we might hold the wake that will take place after Meg’s funeral in just over three week’s time. I think it is fair to say that after I had read in Meg’s medical files, I was rather a sombre and reflective mood for much of the evening.
My son was due to call around today and we have been quite busy with a round of engagements that we need to fulfil today. However, the Hampshire trip has shown me how cluttered a house can become and, returning home to my own domain everything seems to me a model of neatness and good order, which of course I intend to continue. Yesterday morning I did arise at 6.30 am then sat in my friend’s lounge until he appeared some time after 9.00am. I entertained myself by ‘liberating’ a book summarising great philosophers and their systems of thought but after two and a half hours of such reading, I was contemplating writing a note to my friend and then leaving the house without saying goodbye. Fortunately he appeared and we had a long and leisurely breakfast and I left at about 11.30 and the threatened road works/closures on the A34 did not manifest themselves so I had an easy a journey back as the journey the day before was fraught.
Later on in the morning, my son and I walked over the fairly adjacent ‘Holiday Inn’ to enquire about its availability for post-funeral refreshments and eventually we saw the Events organiser. The really good news is that they are available for an event on Wednesday, 11th June so we have booked our slot and seen the room in which our refreshments will take place and we think it will be excellent for us. This particular inn is built in the style of a Spanish Hacienda in any case and we used to eat there quite regularly when we moved to our present house nearly eighteen years ago now. In the late morning, my son had a formal ‘slot’ booked with the undertaker. The lady who dealt with us was sympathetic and practical and I thought she handled things beautifully. My son and I had the slightly strange experience of choosing not only a favourite dress which Meg is to wear but also some underwear as well. To my mind, this is a little strange as after the funeral service in the church, Meg’s body is to be cremated so she will not be wearing the clothes for very long. Also I want to remember Meg as she was and not as she is now so I certainly do not wish to see her dead body in which bad memories might drive out good ones. But I am very inexperienced in such things as I have never had the occasion to make the practical arrangements of a deceased wife – one every 57 1/2 years is quite enough. My son and I did all of the formal registration of a death in the early afternoon so we are relieved to be at this stage in the process. Later, I telephoned a very good ex-University of Winchester friend who I actually saw the other day and will see again in about three weeks time and as she is so much more experienced in these matters than I, she was a great source of sensible and practical advice. Then I popped around to see my next-door neighbour to thank him for the suggestion of the ‘Holiday Inn’ for our post-funeral refreshments. We are delighted that we followed his suggestion of a choice of venue and I am sure that we are doing the right thing at the end of the day.